What songs should be on a wedding DJ do-not-play list?

A do-not-play list exists to protect you from a handful of specific moments, not to prove your taste. The tighter it is, the more likely it is to be followed at eleven at night when a determined guest is leaning over the booth.

I tell couples to think in categories rather than titles. Once you know the category, the songs name themselves.

This is the only category that genuinely must be on the list. The song from a previous relationship. The song that was played at a funeral last spring. The song a family member will find painful for reasons the room does not need to know.

You do not owe anyone an explanation. Write the title and leave it there. Any professional will simply remove it.

The line dances and the group novelty songs. Some rooms adore them, and in parts of New England a wedding without one feels strange. Others find them mortifying. There is no correct answer, only your answer, and it must be written down because these are the most requested songs at any wedding in the country.

If you are on the fence, tell your DJ they may play one if the floor asks for it, and name which one. That is a much better instruction than silence.

Explicit versions of songs you otherwise love belong on the list, with a note that the clean version is welcome. Most entertainers default to clean edits, but it is worth being explicit about being not explicit, especially if children or grandparents are present for the early part of the night.

There is always one song a couple has heard at four weddings in eighteen months. Put it on the list. It is your night and nobody will miss it.

But be careful here, because this is where lists get long. If you are banning a song purely because it is popular rather than because you dislike it, remember that popular is exactly what fills a floor at nine forty.

Whole genres. Banning all country or all hip hop sounds decisive and mostly just removes your DJ's ability to reach half the room. If there are three country songs you hate, name the three.

Also resist banning the slow songs. Couples often say no slow dances, and then find their guests need a breath somewhere in the third hour. Let your entertainer place one or two.

Write one sentence at the bottom of the list: this list stands regardless of who requests it. That sentence is the reason the list works, because it gives your DJ cover to decline politely all night without looking rude.

Entertainers who work hundreds of rooms, like Get Down Tonight Entertainment in Salem or NRG Entertainment out of Hooksett, will take that line seriously and handle the pushback for you.

Give the list at your planning meeting, four to six weeks out, not on the morning of the wedding. And put it in the same document as your must-play songs so nothing gets separated.

If you are still choosing an entertainer, our questions to ask before booking covers how to test whether someone will actually respect the list. When you are ready, send your shortlist out in one go from the 802 Events planner.